I was browsing through and saw a post dated way back in year August 31, 2011, where again my relationship was not in a good state, caused by me.
I saw a photo which really triggers me, poured my tears looking at it again.
In that very post itself also written that I wanted her to see at all the photos again and telling me that she don't feel a thing.
Here I am now, in a mess of a broken relationship.
This time, it is different.
In the past, I have no self control over myself and kept asking for a break-up. This time, for the first time she asked for it. Thing will never be the same ever again.
Seeing that photo from the previous post, had me gone through all the photos we shared/ had for over the past 4 years 3 months and 9 days. Every single photos had me in tears, regrets, and sad. We loved each another so much, gone through so many ups and downs just to be together because what we had, its not normal love. Its true, pure and real love and I cant choose a much better companion to share that with, ever.
These are some of the photos we shared. All of them shows how happy we were, we smiled, laughed, teased, played and even acting cute in front of the camera. These are all genuine, because the love is there.
Nothing, no one could make me the way I felt in every single photos. She's the reason behind all those smiles and laughter. She's simply irreplaceable to me.
After recent events, I have really want to change to be a better person, and I already know that I'm ready to settled down with this girl, the only I could call soul-mate, life companion. I just need to let her know over a 'Hobbit' date to let her know.
It was cut short, 'we' ended. Having to let her go is hard, very hard as I still loves her, so very much. She said that she wants to learn not to love me and wanting me to hate her, and that breaks my heart and I can never hate her, never. I cannot never imagine what my life would be without this little one by my side. Having to learn to be alone, to be without her.
"I would never find someone who can love me like you do" she said, little that she know, I felt the same way too, no one is better enough to replace her, no one will ever touch the benchmark she set. She's my everything.
I have so many things more to say, to share, to explore, and my whole life ready to experience with her. Where now I couldn't.
Loving you is an addiction, being with you is a blessing, having your love is simply magical.
I will always, always love you no matter what.
I really wish we could have more time together.
I miss you dearly, Panda, Kitty, FeiPor, bB, juub.
Very much love,
Panda, Puss, FeiPor, Bybyy, raymie.
Cheegy out.
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