I'm to blame

I understand what you're going through,

I understand how busy you are with work,

Calling you, even sms-ing you made me think twice if I will disturb you from it,

I was just saying, no intention to have an argument with you, ever.

I approached you with no anger, no disappointments,

was just telling you that you've made someone waited for you.

I didn't know by telling you that it indicates that I'm actually blaming you. Never had the intention on blaming anyone.

I'm sorry that i said it is your fault, i slipped,

You yelled from the moment i told you I said you made someone waited.

I slipped. Sorry.

I'm sorry that I yelled back at you.

I realized it was wrong from the moment i did it.

Everything was actually my fault.

Sorry.

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Mum, Dad, I'm sorry that I pissed everyone in the house too,

Really sorry for everything I've said and done.

Sorry.

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I've looked through our chats history in Facebook, as I was looking, there was this post of her's attached with a link and asking if I dont feel anything looking at the posts and pictures we shared and exchanged.

That time, I did.

I felt the love we shared, the bond between us.

I felt that I love this girl very much.

Now, I really wanted to ask her to click on the link again and want to ask if she still feel the same way I felt. But I cant.

I've made the greatest mistake of my life by letting someone like her slipped away,

and caused so much damage and pain unto her.

I am in no place to ask for forgiveness, and a chance.

I miss her so much..

But nothing I can do.

ISLYVM

Once a wonderful, full of love, joy and laughter relationship,

Had gone down a rough road, bumps after bumps..

He made many mistakes, wounds that could never heal..

Only regrets left.. of what's lost, is precious.

I love this girl, with all my heart. And I got only myself to blame for this.
For the mistake I've made, I've lost her.

I miss her tiny little hands I held on,
I miss her body weight on me when I lied down,
I miss her snores putting me to sleep,
I miss her cute gestures to get me to sayang her,
I miss her day-by-day complaints,
I miss the moments we shared, the sad and happy moments,
I miss her hugs, kisses, and those "I love you"s,
I miss accompanying her shopping,
I miss her massaging her,
I miss riding motorcycle with her,
I miss her being my GPS although she's not good at it,
I miss exploring new places with her,
I miss watching movies with her,
I miss kicking ball, volleyballing with her,
I miss those moments we stared at each other and never say a word,
I miss those minis,
I miss pandas,
I miss taking pictures with her,
I miss eating together with her,
I miss swimming with her,
I miss windows shopping with her,
I miss travelling with her,
I miss us,
I miss her,
I miss Teh Aun Joo,
I miss Raymie,
I miss bB, bybyy,
I miss planning things with her,
I miss lok lok,
I miss the lake,
I miss calling her nuunoob,
I miss sending her to work,
I miss picking her up from work,
I miss Subways on Mondays,
I miss Nasi Goreng Ketam with her,
I miss her massage(pinches),
I miss her smile,
I miss her tak-syok face,
I miss those things we did for each other, the bandage card,
I miss you talk crap about Lydia,
I miss manja-kan her,
I miss being di-manja-kan by her,
I miss the boat ride in Mines,
I miss what we did in Pav and Gardens.
I miss the moments in Subang Square,
I miss the moment we spent in the car,
I miss you,

There's a lot more that I really miss about her.. the list will go on and on..
I really miss her so much..

I Love You, Teh Aun Joo.

I'm Sorry.