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I've looked through our chats history in Facebook, as I was looking, there was this post of her's attached with a link and asking if I dont feel anything looking at the posts and pictures we shared and exchanged.

That time, I did.

I felt the love we shared, the bond between us.

I felt that I love this girl very much.

Now, I really wanted to ask her to click on the link again and want to ask if she still feel the same way I felt. But I cant.

I've made the greatest mistake of my life by letting someone like her slipped away,

and caused so much damage and pain unto her.

I am in no place to ask for forgiveness, and a chance.

I miss her so much..

But nothing I can do.

ISLYVM

Once a wonderful, full of love, joy and laughter relationship,

Had gone down a rough road, bumps after bumps..

He made many mistakes, wounds that could never heal..

Only regrets left.. of what's lost, is precious.

I love this girl, with all my heart. And I got only myself to blame for this.
For the mistake I've made, I've lost her.

I miss her tiny little hands I held on,
I miss her body weight on me when I lied down,
I miss her snores putting me to sleep,
I miss her cute gestures to get me to sayang her,
I miss her day-by-day complaints,
I miss the moments we shared, the sad and happy moments,
I miss her hugs, kisses, and those "I love you"s,
I miss accompanying her shopping,
I miss her massaging her,
I miss riding motorcycle with her,
I miss her being my GPS although she's not good at it,
I miss exploring new places with her,
I miss watching movies with her,
I miss kicking ball, volleyballing with her,
I miss those moments we stared at each other and never say a word,
I miss those minis,
I miss pandas,
I miss taking pictures with her,
I miss eating together with her,
I miss swimming with her,
I miss windows shopping with her,
I miss travelling with her,
I miss us,
I miss her,
I miss Teh Aun Joo,
I miss Raymie,
I miss bB, bybyy,
I miss planning things with her,
I miss lok lok,
I miss the lake,
I miss calling her nuunoob,
I miss sending her to work,
I miss picking her up from work,
I miss Subways on Mondays,
I miss Nasi Goreng Ketam with her,
I miss her massage(pinches),
I miss her smile,
I miss her tak-syok face,
I miss those things we did for each other, the bandage card,
I miss you talk crap about Lydia,
I miss manja-kan her,
I miss being di-manja-kan by her,
I miss the boat ride in Mines,
I miss what we did in Pav and Gardens.
I miss the moments in Subang Square,
I miss the moment we spent in the car,
I miss you,

There's a lot more that I really miss about her.. the list will go on and on..
I really miss her so much..

I Love You, Teh Aun Joo.

I'm Sorry.

Goodbye..

I choose to be tensed?
If so, I wouldn't even want to take that call from you.
If so, I wouldn't even want to listen to you.
If so, I wouldn't even want to talk to you.
If so, I wouldn't even want to be here.

If being tensed up is a choice, I would rather ignore ur call and just do nothing.
I would choose that.

You've pushed me too far this time.
Never a sorry for the things you did to me.
And I can easily give it for the things I've done.
I guess sorry is a very valuable word.
I dont deserve to have one.

I rather walk this road alone from now on.

Goodbye, this is where it all ends.

Toyed

you think I dont know?

do your thing behind me, hope that I wont find out.

how can I befriend the culprits that know all these things and never to think about me?

they contribute the hurting of your love one,

who is more important to you? love one? your friends?

you choose them over me. you tell me what am I supposed to do?

maybe I'll just let you teamed up with them and continue the hurting.

maybe I should just let you.

be with them, be free. let my misery go.

There won't be a thrid name.

Bonnie Parker and Clyde Burrows.

Two names,

Two persona,

Who am I?

Just a nobody.

then why, oh why can't I

somewhere over the rainbow,
way up high,
there's a land that i dream of,
once in a lullaby,

somewhere over the rainbow,
skies are blue,
and the dream that you dare to dream,
really do come true,

someday i'll wished upon a star,
and wake up where the clouds are far,
behind me,
where troubles melt like lemon drops,
high above the chimney tops,
there's where you'll find me,

oh somewhere over the rainbow,
bluebirds fly,
birds fly over the rainbow,
why then, oh why can't i..

I can't get this song of my head somehow, especially the glee version of it..

dreams do come true for some of us, at least mine had..
and its with you..

something happened and it might crush it..
terrible awful words uttered, apologies?.. it can't be reversed..
what said was said..

even if apology granted.. self forgiveness is an issue..

it's scarred. everything is..

________________________________________________________

as stupid as it sounds..
im actually distracting myself from missing you..

it's hard.. but i really wished you'll have fun without me.
then, maybe goodbye might not be hard..

I'll miss everything we shared, all of it..

I love you, all my heart.

memories of the past

things you saw,
things you said,
things you did,
things you felt,
things you experienced,
things you encountered,

every single thing happened in your life, there's memories of it,
fond or not fond of it, you somehow will miss the moments one day or another,
it is a part of you.

some of the things you mentioned that you miss, i can't helped feeling sad..

those are the moments.. that im not a part of you.